Published in the bulletin of Holy Ghost Catholic Church in Knoxville, TN, on the 22nd Sunday of Ordinary time.
My dear Parishioners,
Peace! The sacrament of Holy Marriage is treated by the Catechism of the Catholic Church in eight (8) In Brief passages. The following is a reflection on article 1662.
Holy Marriage is not based only upon the emotions or feelings. The will plays a central part in the Sacrament of Marriage. If the bride and groom do not will to give themselves, each to the other, definitively, mutually, exclusively, then their vows have little traction and are just words. If there are “warm fuzzes” and passionate emotions accompanying the vows that can be great, no doubt. But what about “after the honeymoon”? Without the will to live the Holy Vows of Marriage there is no Marriage.
The classic expression in the Church is that “consent makes the Marriage.” When the bride and groom exchange their vows this is also called the “exchange of consent.” The bride and groom are also called in the formal language of the Church the “contractants” of the Sacrament of Marriage. The couple are the ones who exchange their consent, not their parents or friends or acquaintances, but this man and this woman vow, promise with God as a witness, fidelity all the days of their lives.
Part of the requirements for a valid exchange of the Holy Vows of Marriage is mutual self-giving. The idea here is not 50% + 50% but 100% + 100% from both the bride and groom with God giving the interest which is greater than 100% insofar as Heaven is in the cards for those who live out their lives faithfully to God and their vows.
A second part required for a valid exchange of the Holy Vows of Marriage is to will a definitive gift-of-self. Here, a classic Latin axiom come in handy: nemo dat quod no habet (no one gives what he doesn’t have). In order to give yourself in Holy Marriage you must first be self-possessed (which is much different from being demonically possessed). Being a virtuous person, living the virtues, enables one to be “self-possessed.”
A third component required for a valid Marriage requires it to be lived as a faithful alliance. Faithfulness includes but is not limited to the Marriage bed, which is sacred. There are other hours of the day when husband and wife are not in the Marriage bed, and they are called to be faithful then too. Not just Monday through Friday, not just on the weekends, not just 9:00 to 5:00 or 5:00 to 9:00 but 24/7.
Fecundity is a fourth component making up a valid Marriage. When the husband and wife live lives which bear fruit which will last they are fulfilling the will of the Lord (cf. John 15:16). Holiness and children are lasting fruits. Mother Church does not require husbands and wives to have 20+ children or only 1.2 children. “The world” curses large families while Sacred Scripture recognizes them as blessings from God (cf. Genesis 22:17; 26:4; Psalm 128:6).
God bless you!
Father John Arthur Orr