Published in the bulletin of Holy Ghost Catholic Church in Knoxville, TN, on 28th Sunday of Ordinary Time.

My dear Parishioners,
Peace! There are six (6) “In Brief” articles in the Catechism of the Catholic Church addressing the Ninth Commandment of the Decalogue, ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.’ The following is a reflection on CCC 2533.
“Purity of heart demands the reserve which is patience, modesty and discretion. Reserve preserves the intimacy of the person.”
When considering the Ninth Commandment, ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife’ the Catechism reminds us that this Commandment is linked to the Beatitude calling us to purity of heart.
In order to be pure of heart we must be patient. The virtue of chastity, in thought word and deed, has us actually “wait” for Holy Marriage before engaging in sexual activity. Even within Holy Marriage patience is required during times of periodic continence required for the regulation of births.
In order to be pure of heart we must be modest. Modesty in dress and speech and action(s) all contribute to chaste living (cf. 1 Timothy 2:9; 3:2–3; Philippians 4:8; 1 Peter 3:8; James 3:17). The Greek terms kosmios, hagnos, euschemonos and sophron are all related to modesty: orderly, pure, having good form, respectable, self-controlled, temperate. When our clothes are so form fitting or revealing little is left to the imagination or worse, curiosity is piqued. While our day and age seems to be crude in many ways, the way in which human anatomy and sexuality are often discussed shows little reverence for subjects dear to the heart of God in that they are not only part of the good creation but also a part of the Decalogue and the Sermon on the Mount.
In order to be pure of heart we must be discrete. Public display of affection (PDA) is anything but discrete. It is not a sin to hold hands or even a “peck on the cheek” but much more may be too much. Sometimes the directive “get a room” has been used, but apart from Holy Marriage this might lead to further sin. In Sacred Scripture discretion is likened to a beautiful woman and a golden ring, lack of discretion is deemed unkosher (cf. Proverbs 11:22). The Hebrew term taam, sometimes translated as “discretion” implies a mandate, advice, behaviour, decree, discretion, judgement, reason and understanding. The Book of Proverbs is full of exhortations to discretion, all of which help us to be pure of heart, not only sexually but entirely (cf. 1:4; 3:21; 5:2; 8:12; 19:11). God’s Commandments and grace have been given to us to help us be good and holy. To be good we are to guide our undertakings with discretion (cf. Psalm 112:5).
The intimacy of the person is preserved through reserve. Intimacy is poorly understood if it is reduced to lacy garments and the nuptial embrace (cf. Deuteronomy 34:10). To share the deep joys and sorrows, hopes and dreams of the heart are no less a forms of intimacy, so often sorely lacking in our age.
God bless you!
Father John Arthur Orr